honestly, i don't like my siblings. why? cause of their attitude problem. i might be the youngest and i should be the most selfish and stubborn among the rest, but no. instead, both of them reflect this kind of attitude. i felt very sorry and sad towards mak for having this kind of children in her life. kurangnya pendidikan dalam agama adalah salah satu faktor. aku bukannya nak malukan both of them but they should know apa balasannya jikalau meninggikan suara, menidakkan permintaan mak dan sebagainya. sebagai yang bongsu, kadang-kadang aku rasa malu. one of them soon going to know how is it feel 'menderhaka' kepada mak. i just wait patiently for the time to come. nak tengok how her daughter's behavior bila meningkat usia and when the time have come, she will regret. same goes to him, he will regret anytime soon. bila diri tak pernah dihujani dengan ayat-ayat Al-Quran mahupun kerajinan dalam sembahyang, yes ini jadinya. Astaghfirullahalazim.
i'm not saying that i'm a perfect daughter but at least i have the awareness. apa balasannya jikalau menitiskan air mata mak walau setitik. thank you to Allah SWT. aku tahu aku belum contribute apa-apa dekat mak or even at the house, but i will one day. plus, niat aku cuma satu, bahagiakan mak sebelum dia pergi. perasaan menyesal datang selepas bapak pergi. betapa menyesalnya aku dengan layanan dingin yang aku bagi sebelum bapak meninggal. sebab tu, tiap hari tak putus-putus doakan untuk mak dengan bapak. this is me, i can be very sensitive and touching when it comes to my parents. mak is my first priority now. and here i am, menangis seorang diri dalam bilik mak fikirkan kenapa takdir aku tertulis macamni. surrounded by this kind of people makes me sick. people around me might think i'm happy but actually i'm not. yes, this is the story of my life and blogging is the second way for me to express the sadness.
moga Allah SWT timbulkan kesedaran kepada mereka bahawa syurga di tapak kaki ibu, rumah yang mereka duduk adalah rumah mak dan besar dosanya apabila guriskan hati mak. from the outside, mak seems okay but deeply inside i know she isn't happy with her children. takpe, in the future biar aku yang jaga mak. mohon mak ampunkan semua dosa nini.
